For Mother’s day a friend who doesn’t have children yet gave me a card and told me I was her “Mom-spiration”, that I made this mom thing look it easy. That touched my heart because boy it sure hasn’t been easy. In my first post ever (woohoo I popped my cherry) I mentioned I have been a mother for 16 years, I became someone’s mother when I was 19 years old. Becoming a mother at a young age people were judgmental. This wasn’t so much from my parents, don’t get me wrong they were pissed! A lot of the criticism came from people who have watched me grow up and were disappointed, it’s like newsflash I’m not perfect. They would say things, not directly to me of course but to others that I’ve ruined my life, you won’t be able to accomplish any thing. You are going to have to be depended on the system to take care of you and your baby. Instead of someone telling you encouraging words they tell you things that can destroy you. Make you feel like you’re a failure. To be honest whether you are 16, 25, 35, 45 it is never a walk in the park to be a mother. It is one of that hardest jobs you will ever have but it is also one of the most rewarding experiences you will have in your life if that is what you choose.
My oldest son came into my life when I needed him the most. I had no real direction of where I was going with my life. If I would’ve kept doing the stupid shit I was doing who knows if I would even be here today or be free for that matter. He came into my life right on time, I knew it wasn’t about me any more. I had this new life to take care of and I am not about to fuck up his life before he has a chance to live it. At times we struggled, at times I didn’t know how I was going to make rent and pay for his childcare. But I worked hard and never gave up, going to a traditional 4 year college really wasn’t for me, I tried but it just wasn’t my cup of tea. Instead I went to a technical college and got in to the healthcare field. I encourage people to look into trade schools. They offer a lot of great programs and for a fraction of the price of traditional colleges. I have absolutely enjoyed working in healthcare, helping take care of people is natural for me. I felt like it was one of my callings and it has provided stability for my children and myself.
Theses little humans do not come with a manual. There are like a million books on child rearing but something that works for one kid may not work for another. I have two boys and they couldn’t be more different. Sometimes you just have to wing it and hope for the best. This road hasn’t been easy we had our share of hills to climb and obstacles to overcome but damnit we’ve almost have made it. My oldest son is going into the 10th grade this year and I am so proud of the young man he is turning out to be. He has a good head on his shoulders. I can’t wait to see what great things he does in this world. Whether you became a mom in your teens or later in life and you are thinking what the fuck have I gotten my self into, it will be alright. It may not feel like it in this moment but it will get better but you have to be willing to put in the work. What your children need most is to know that they are loved, they are safe and that you are present. Eventually everything else will fall into place, there is someone else that is depending on you and they need you. Don’t give up!